No is not rejection.
No is not rejection, it is direction.
We are inundated with information all day, every day and the information that comes to us is actually neutral - we choose what meaning we give it. Therefore, we can choose to view “No” as information, not rejection.
Many people are paralyzed by No. They feel that No invalidates their worth, devalues their offering, and they feel shame around receiving a “No”, because they view it as a personal rejection.
Because they view No as a personal failing, they freeze in their tracks and can’t bring themselves to move forward, and their resilience for putting themselves “out there” again weakens.
But what if we understood that No is simply feedback?
As a salesperson, I accept every No with gratitude because it helps me improve how well I perform.
In truth, a Yes is way better than a No in sales, but a No is better than silence. Silence is the end of information but No means I get to ask “Why” and keep the conversation moving, the flow of information coming, and the possibility of a positive outcome open.
The key to using No to our advantage is in interpreting what value No has to us. It is worth digging for WHY we received No. A No has the power to point us in a better direction, cultivate our niche, refine our pitch, better understand the needs of our target clients, and grow our sales wins.
There are 2 kinds of no – ‘Not now’ and ‘Not ever’ and both have value.
Not now – means we are a fit but this customer requires appropriate follow-up. Maybe they need more information about the benefits to them, to justify the value. Maybe the budget isn’t available this month but could be in the following month or two. Dig for why No is being offered at this time, and take that feedback to inform the what, how, and when this potential client needs us to follow up.
Not ever – means this particular lead or this type of customer is not a fit for our offer and it is time to move on. Paying attention to how often and how many “not ever” responses we are getting, will alert us to investigate if we have the wrong target client in our sights, or could indicate that our value proposition is off the mark and needs adjustment to better fit our clients’ needs. Understanding the reason will help to reduce wasteful spending of our resources. It’s worth keeping in mind that nothing is forever, a “Not ever” can one day turn into a “Let’s talk” as circumstances change, gatekeepers change or priorities change – accept No with grace.
A No gives us a golden opportunity to tailor our offering, our approach, and our ideal client for a Yes response. Every No gets us closer to Yes – gets us closer to creating our own thriving economy.
This same way of thinking and approaching the No you may receive in other parts of your life is just as valuable.
“No, you didn’t get that promotion” could be your cue that it is time to move on to new employment, where your skills are recognized and appreciated.
”No, your kids aren’t interested in trying that new fusion restaurant” becomes the perfect excuse for a date night with your spouse at the restaurant while your kids enjoy pizza delivered at home.
”No, you aren’t keeping your commitment to yourself” is leading you to seek support in a group program, or guidance from a coach, or a commitment to an accountability buddy.
If you’d like to discuss how to get a Yes more often from yourself or others, please get in touch.