Are you addicted to being busy?

Are you addicted to being busy?

Have you perfected the habit of constantly running from one thing to another and yet never really feeling like you accomplished as much as you’d hoped?

It seems like a never-ending cycle of putting out fires, meeting everyone else’s needs but your own, and it feels like the more you take on, the less gets done.

When was the last time you investigated how you got to be so busy, and how well all the busyness is serving your greater good?

This is a conversation that has a life of its own. It has many layers to unpack and understand and is nuanced for each one of us.

This post won’t go deep and wide enough to unpack it all for everyone. However, I hope it sparks curiosity for you to investigate your own busyness and get yourself aligned to more of what is in your best interest.

Let’s have a look at a few things…

1. Where can you exercise choice in which tasks you take on?
   You might be tempted to argue that you don’t have much choice in what/where you spend your time. And I used to argue the same point.

   I genuinely believed that what was on my plate had little to do with what I wanted placed there. And as long as I argued for that limitation, I got to keep the limitation intact, and nothing ever changed.

   The truth is you do have a choice.

   And it will require you to step into some discomfort.

   You may have to get past the feeling like you are letting people down, or worrying that someone won’t do the task the way you would, or feeling like the ‘bad’ guy for letting someone take responsibility for themselves vs you saving them.

   Breathe through the discomfort because being better aligned with what is in your best interest makes you a better-resourced friend, spouse, partner, parent, and team player.

   And the times you choose to say “Yes”, the project or person will receive your full commitment for a greater outcome.
   
   

2. Is it the case that much of what is on your plate to do is of little personal value to you, compared to more self-supporting and personally gratifying work?
   To support your choices, consider taking time to acknowledge which tasks leave you feeling drained and which work creates a surge of increased energy in you.

   While you can’t control or stretch how much time you have, you can control how and where to use your energy in the time available to you.

   For the tasks that drain your energy, consider if there is someone better suited for the work, or someone who could share the burden of the task, or even if the task needs to be done!

   To protect my energy through tedious but necessary tasks like laundry and bookkeeping, I remind myself that it is my privilege to live where I do, to have access to what I want/need, and how fortunate I am to be able-bodied and mentally healthy to take on these tasks.
   
   

3. Is being “Busy all the time” a badge of honour that is ready to be retired?

   There may have been a time when you had more commitments and demands of your time than you do now and yet, you can’t seem to shake the feeling that you need to keep busy all the time.

   It is common for a change in duties to affect one’s sense of identity. The feeling is that the lack of busyness equates to a lack of importance and purpose.

   Please know that you are invaluable. Whether you are busy or not, you always have tremendous value.

   The change in pace or change in duties is your opportunity to investigate how you can bring meaning, joy, and importance to your own life.

   Accepting that it is okay and healthy to not “be busy all the time” is going to open opportunities you have yet to consider.

   If you are used to giving and doing for others, focusing on your own enjoyment will feel uncomfortable at first and that’s okay.

   Eventually, you will sort out an interest or new experience that you can get involved in that excites you and could also be meaningful to others.
   
   

4. Is all the busyness really necessary or could some of it be an unconscious distraction from dealing with uncomfortable parts of your life?

   Busy work is not the same as productive work.

   For some, being busy is a way to avoid dealing with tasks that they know will be draining or uncomfortable, even cringy-worthy.

   Is it possible that being busy is a way of delaying the occasion to have an uncomfortable conversation, or to avoid spending time with someone?

   Sometimes, stepping into the spotlight for your own benefit, taking a chance on yourself, declaring a new identity, or announcing to the world your new direction in your adventurous life can stop you in your tracks.

   There never seems to be the right time, or you never feel truly ready or prepared to bravely put yourself out there or invest in yourself.

   It seems there are so many other things or people who need your attention, and you are just to busy to be the Hero of your own story.

   What is “Busy” keeping you from doing that although it might be uncomfortable, would move you in the direction your heart really wants to go?
   
   

5. Are you allowing yourself to take a pause between tasks? Spend a bit of time in the White Space - A little personal pause to stay still and breathe.

   There are times when life really is hectic, and it feels like you just can’t catch your breath. The next time you feel this way, I urge you to lean into the White Space of your life.
   
   In a person’s life, White Space is a moment to pause. To choose stillness and to take a purposeful breath and nothing else. It allows you a private moment to just be versus being busy. The White Space moments are already a part of your life.

   These are moments only you can give yourself. You get to decide if your White Space lasts 30 seconds or 3 minutes.

   The length of time spent in your White Space is not the point of the activity.

   The importance of the activity is to be aware and acknowledge that the White Space is already yours, to give yourself permission to experience it, and to reap the benefits of this bit of private time with yourself.

   Use it to appreciate the task you just completed, the compliment you received, to recognize the long way you’ve come and all the good impact you’ve made.

   Use it to reflect if you are making the best use of your energy, and if your attention is on the important things that are taking you in the right direction.

   Before you hurry to move from one activity to another, please take a moment in your White Space.
   

As a recovering “busy” person, here is what I do to help keep myself in check…

Every month I take stock of how drained or energized I feel by my recent commitments and daily routine.

It gives me the chance to understand if enough of my energy is being spent on activities that refuel me vs activities that drain me.

It allows me to be active in choosing what/where I spend my energy and to acknowledge if the activities I’ve signed on for, are moving me towards the outcomes I want and value.

This time of reflection helps me feel good about the productive work I’ve done, the ways my work was meaningful, and to investigate where I might be able to sneak in a bit more time to be busy having fun.

Looking for support for overcoming your busyness? Reach Out.